Untouchable
by moon-called-princess
Summary: Songfic with the song Untouchable by Taylor Swift.


**Hello everyone**

**This is my first songfic so I hope you guys like it**

**The song is Untouchable by Taylor Swift**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Darkest Powers or this song would it really be on fanfiction? I think not.**

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Sitting on the window seat in the attic at the safe house, I looked out the window, admiring everything there. It was raining rather strongly, the purple clouds casting an ominous shadow over the encroaching forest and the small clearing of a yard we had. The attic was above the library which was on the third floor, so I could see out over the tops of the trees, see each raindrop as it pelted each pine needle or leaf, depending on what kind of tree it was. Farther in, I could see a break in the trees that wove around in an irregular pattern and knew that a small stream ran through it. Derek and I had found it one evening when we were arguing.

Which brings me to the real reason I'm sitting here. Derek.

I had been very confused on my feelings toward Derek for a while now. Most of the time, he is insufferable. He bosses me around like I'm some five-year-old kid. He gets aggravated every time I have to ask him for his help on any little thing. Not to mention, almost every time I walk into a room he was in, he walks out. I'm pretty sure he hates me.

But then there are the other times. He'll joke with me, when he stays in the same room long enough to do so. He makes sure to save me the last muffin, since he knows they're my favorite. Whenever I really need to talk to someone, he's there to listen. Grudgingly, I'll admit. He always suggests someone else for me to tell my problems to, but he still listens when I don't go. And he always seems ready to protect me from the smallest little things. But that might just be because Andrew says necromancers are rare and really powerful and how we're lucky to have me in our group. Even though I can't really do anything. I don't know how I'm supposed to be useful, but…whatever.

_But Derek protected you before he knew you were rare_, my inner self chimed in. But that was probably because he wanted to keep me safe for Simon. I knew his brother liked me, as more than a friend, but I couldn't really return the favor. Simon is like the brother I never had. He shouldn't be the boyfriend—although I've never had one of those, either. But Derek is always pushing me toward Simon. He wants his brother's happiness above everything else.

But he's starting to lay off the pushing lately. Ever since I yelled at him for it. He had _suggested_that I go sit with Simon in the library, instead of him. To which I replied, "Simon will only ever be my friend! Nothing more!" in a rather screeching tone. Simon had heard—after all, he'd only been on the other side of the library—causing me to feel horrible. He was a bit upset over it for a while, but then he realized that his affection toward me was more that he was used to having a girlfriend and right now the choices were between Tori and me. Kind of stung, but at least we could be friends now without the awkwardness.

A slight movement in the yard below pulled me out of my memory. Derek—who had been for a run along the stream, as was usual for this time of day—sauntered into the yard from the edge of the trees. His hair was plastered to his forehead, shirt clinging to his sculpted muscles like a second skin because of the rain. Honestly, I thought he looked a bit beautiful. I can't use words like _hot_ to describe him—though that's certainly how I felt right then—because they just seemed too vulgar and simple when he seemed so intense and complex. Beautiful was as close to appropriate as anyone could get.

Unless you were talking to Tori. Or even him, for that matter. They seem to have some delusion that he's gross or ugly or whatever. I don't understand, but everyone seems to think he's untouchable. In some ways, I guess he is. He won't let anyone in. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get completely past his defenses. Although, I think I've gotten nearly as close as Simon. But I don't even think Simon is as close as he could be. Derek doesn't like to feel vulnerable. I can only guess that he must have been hurt some time in the past from being that way. Maybe before he was with Simon and their dad. It probably had something to do with his being a werewolf. He always thinks he's too dangerous to be with people. He's hurt people before but he never recognizes the fact that whenever he hurt these people it was to protect someone else. He just sees himself as a monster and dangerous. His mind—and, inevitably, his heart—was untouchable, closed off from everything and everyone. And I realized that that's what I wanted to touch. His heart.

**Untouchable like a distant diamond sky**

**I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why**

I reached my fingers out and touched the window, my fingers tracing the path of a raindrop as it fell down the pane of glass. Every time it got close to another drop, threatening to combine with it, it would swerve the other way, like magnets with opposite polarities. Never wanting to open itself up to the other drops, afraid that if they combined, it would fall faster, plummet to its end at the sill of the window before it could even have the chance to enjoy its course. Maybe it wasn't really even scared of its own fall. Maybe it dodged the others because it didn't want to end they're journey down the window. I wondered if this would be the life Derek would live. Was he always going to avoid others? Was he always going to see himself as dangerous? Sure, he was a werewolf, but he was still just as caring and thoughtful as any human. But would that matter? Would he always be alone, completely isolated, until his death? I began to feel sad, moving my finger with the droplet. I wanted to yell at the water. _Open up! Take a chance! It might be worth it…_

Of course I felt crazy now. But even as I acknowledged this, I couldn't look away. I couldn't stop hoping that the drop _would_stop swerving, that it _would_combine. It was almost at the bottom of the window now and I was getting anxious. I was so caught up in this insignificant little speck of moisture. No, I was so caught up in Derek.

**I'm caught up in you**

**I'm caught up in you**

Stubborn drop. It just kept swerving. If the window could open, I might have just pushed the drop into another, to show that it could stop being difficult. But if I did that, it would fall faster, and wasn't that what it was scared of in the first place? This drop was untouchable.

**Untouchable**

Suddenly, as it was so close to the bottom of the pane, it slowed. Another drop, one that had been running parallel to it, veered toward it. The Derek drop inched closer and closer to it, like it was trying to change direction again but it just couldn't. Like the new drop had the same magnetic polarity where the others had very different. The Derek drop was slowly being sucked in. As it neared, the new drop began to look like it was falling apart. It was spindling outward and I was scared it would separate. That it would break apart and the Derek drop would be left alone again.

**Burning brighter than the sun**

**And when you're close I feel like coming undone**

It looked like the Derek drop had a moment of indecision. It stopped completely for a moment, then rushed forward just as the new drop was breaking apart. The Derek drop touched the edges of the new one, slowly, just holding it together at first.

**In the middle of the night**

**When I'm in this dream**

**It's like a million little stars**

**Spelling out your name**

**You gotta come on, come on**

**Say that we'll be together**

**Come on, come on**

**Little taste of heaven**

**Oh, oh**

_Come on!_ I wanted to shout. _Combine! Stay together!_ The Derek drop didn't move any closer. It wouldn't combine completely. Just held the other together, like it was prepared to leave as soon as the other drop was fine again.

**It's half full and I won't wait here all day**

**I know you're saying that you'd be here anyway**

Was that other drop me? He always stayed around to help me, rescue me, but then left. Maybe not physically, since we're all stuck in this safe house, but mentally. He blocked me out and pushed me to Simon. After we got away from Liam and Ramon I asked him to help me with self-defense. He said I should ask Simon. After that girl in the alley cut my cheek and Derek saved me (and yelled at me) he said I should talk to Simon about what happened. He held me together, then left when I was fine. But I wasn't really fine. He changed me, and I felt euphoric when he would open up to me. Then upset when he would close off again.

I looked back down at him. He hadn't really moved from his spot where he entered the yard. He was bent at the hips, his hands resting on his knees like he was still trying to catch his breath. I realized that it had only been a few seconds since he entered the yard, not the minutes it seemed when I was focusing on the water droplets.

As I was staring at him, the clouds broke. It was still raining, and the clouds didn't even part above him but, because of the time of day, the sun was angled so that its rays misted right across him.

**But you're untouchable**

**Burning brighter than the sun**

**Now that you're close I feel like coming undone**

Also at that moment, he looked up. Like he could feel my eyes on him, he glanced immediately up to where I was and our gazes locked. This was the kind of look that I loved to get from him. It had only happened a couple times before but it felt incredible, like my heart had suddenly been zapped. I was warm all over, especially around my heart, and I felt it spreading rapidly up my neck to my face. I realized then that I was actually blushing. My heart started beating like crazy in my chest. I felt like I was coming undone, falling apart at the seams just from the intensity of that stare. I felt like only by being closer to him could hold me together. I felt like I should be dreaming. Nothing that felt this extraordinary could be real.

**In the middle of the night**

**When I'm in this dream**

**It's like a million little stars**

**Spelling out your name**

But then he looked away, jogging into the house. Every time we shared anything that caused me to feel this way, he would disrupt it. Then I knew I wasn't dreaming. If I were dreaming, it wouldn't have ended. It would have progressed into something more. What, I wasn't sure. I just knew that there had to be more to that.

With a jolt, I understood what I wanted. I hadn't ever felt anything like what I felt just now, so it's mildly understandable why I didn't really get it before. I mean, I had been speculating about it, but just now, I knew for sure. I wanted Derek. I wanted him to open up to me, to let me know him. I wanted him to trust me. To like me, to be with me. Even though I'm pretty sure he hated me. Or was at least aggravated by me.

**You gotta come on, come on**

**Say that we'll be together**

**Come on, come on**

**Oh**

I looked back down at the raindrops. The Derek drop was still just holding the Me drop together. It hadn't moved any closer. I stood up to leave the attic. But right before I turned away, the Derek drop combined with the Me drop. It took the chance. I held my breath, waiting for it to drop, to fall, to fail.

It didn't.

The drops held, despite the fact that their added weight should have made them plummet to the windowsill. They stayed exactly where they were, together.

I should have been happy. Wasn't that the very thing I wanted? Hadn't I been cheering the droplets on, hoping that they would take the chance and survive? The thing was, I was counting on them to fail. I didn't expect that they could actually work together. It's against gravity for them to survive, against nature. But they stayed.

I wanted to be with Derek more than ever in that moment. Maybe it was silly, but that little watery metaphor encouraged me that being with Derek was what I was supposed to do.

**In the middle of the night**

**We could form this dream**

**I wanna feel you by my side**

**Standing next to me**

**You gotta come on, come on**

**Say that we'll be together**

**Come on, come on**

**Little taste of heaven**

I turned around and sprinted across the room. He might deny me. Actually, he most likely would. But there was a little part of me that believed that he wouldn't, that we could survive like the rain. I was still pretty convinced that he didn't even like me in the slightest as a friend, let alone anything more, but it couldn't hurt to try, right? Just thinking that popular little saying gave me pause. That's exactly what it would do. It would really hurt. I didn't care. I continued to scramble down the ladder steps that led down from the attic.

Darting across the library, I thought about what I would say to him. I decided that I would just come right out and say it. No need to beat around the bush. I'll just say it as soon as I see him. If he denies me, oh well…

On the other side of the library doors, Derek was waiting, blocking the way. It was fine though, because he's exactly who I wanted to see. I looked up at his face and instantly forgot what I was supposed to be saying. His expression caught me. He tried to keep his face calm, exempt of all emotion, but his emerald eyes were nervous and excited and doubtful all at the same time. I found myself trying to decipher the odd combination but I couldn't think of anything that could make him look that way. It sort of aggravated me that he was trying to hide what he was feeling though. It always did. Trying to keep himself untouchable.

**I'm caught up in you**

**Oh, oh, oh**

**Untouchable**

**Burning brighter than the sun**

**Now that you're close I feel like coming undone**

Behind the nervousness, the doubtfulness, I could see that his excitement was the most prominent. It lit up his expressionless face, if that even makes sense. He looked radiant. Again, I felt like I was falling apart and that only being close to him could fix me. And what I wanted more than anything was to be close to him.

I opened my mouth to tell him just how I felt, to blurt it all out, but at the same time, he opened his.

"Y-you go," I told him, even though I was about ready to burst with what I needed to say.

He probably noticed, from my nervous stutter, because he replied, "No, you."

I took a deep breath to steady myself. This was something I definitely didn't want to stutter through. "Derek," I began, "I think, quite possibly, that I might, maybe, kinda…" He raised his eyebrow at me and I mentally chastised myself for dancing around the subject instead of just getting it out like I had planned. I took another deep breath and then it loose. "Derek, I think I like you as more than just a friend. Maybe even love you." The second the words were out, part of me wished I could take them back. They were true enough, but I couldn't get the image of two raindrops combining and then falling out of my head. I mean, what's the likelihood that the Derek drop and the Me drop actually represented Derek and me together? I should have called them the Snow White and Prince Charming drops. That would have been more appropriate.

The look on Derek's face only reinforced my regret. His carefully structured mask broke, revealing complete and utter disbelief. I wished I were dreaming so that I could wake up to realize that I hadn't actually said anything.

**In the middle of the night**

**When I'm in this dream**

**It's like a million little stars**

**Spelling out your name**

**You gotta come on, come on**

**Say that we'll be together**

**Come on, come on**

**Oh, oh, oh**

I wished that he had reacted different, said that we could be together, that he wanted me, too. But he didn't say anything. He just stood there and with each passing second I felt my heart crumpling more and more. He actually looked like he was about to be sick. Great. I repulsed him so much that he was going to go hurl.

I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to step around him so that I could go run to my room and cry like the stupid little girl I was. But as I tried to pass him, he reached out and grabbed my upper arm in a gentle but firm grip.

"Chloe, wait." His voice was gruff, like his throat was really dry. Or like he was trying to hold down bile.

"No," I said, my voice cracking. I didn't want to hear his let down. To hear him speak the words would be the last straw. The tears I was trying so hard to contain would spill over if he spoke it. I tugged on his fingers, trying to get his grip to loosen. It didn't. "Let me go," I cried.

"No," he said. "I won't. Not until you listen to what I have to say."

"Speak then," I said, looking away in case the tears fell. Like raindrops.

"How can you…? Were you serious when…? You're not joking, right?" he finally got out. Joking? Is _he_serious?

"Why in the world would I joke about something like that?" I looked up at him now, completely hurt. The tears fell, leaving tracks down my face before they plummeted to their end. None combined, none survived. All fell.

When he looked at my pain-filled, tear-stained face, his crumpled. He reached his hand up to wipe the tears off but I jerked my head away. He lowered his hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just surprised." Then he started laughing. I swear to God, he was laughing. Laughing at me and my naivety? The tears were flowing steady. I broke my arm from his grip and booked it down the stairs to the second floor where my bedroom was. It was futile to try to outrun Derek though. He caught me and this time didn't let go, no matter how much I struggled.

"I'm laughing because I'm happy," he said. "I feel the same. I was just going to tell you. I have for a while but I thought you were repulsed by me. I never thought, never in a million years that you could like me, let alone possibly love me."

I stopped struggling and looked him in the eyes. His gloriously, green eyes. "How could you think I was repulsed by you? How could you have missed the signs I gave you?" Like trying to talk to him constantly, defending him in front of others, not to mention, staying with him during his changes.

"I just thought that you were being nice." He shrugged. "I mean, look at me. I'm a jerk, selfish, and ornery. A complete monster." I opened my mouth to object but he was speaking again. "And look at you. You're so kind, and selfless, and so positive. A complete angel. We're total opposites." He looked like he believed that absolutely and it nearly broke my heart. "I kind of hoped that I might have had a chance, after you voiced your feelings about Simon, but it was quickly smothered. I didn't want to let myself hope only to be disappointed later." My arms wrapped around his waist. He was no longer untouchable.

**In the middle of the night**

**When I'm in this dream**

**It's like a million little stars**

**Spelling out your name**

**You gotta come on, come on**

**Say that we'll be together**

**Come on, come on**

**Come on**

He froze for a minute. Then, hesitantly, he put his arms around me as well. Now I'm glad that this wasn't a dream. Now I don't have to wake up. And now we're free to form our own dream, instead of going by a script my subconscious would have mustered up.

**In the middle of the night**

**We can form this dream**

**I wanna feel you by my side**

**Standing next to me**

**You gotta come on, come on**

**Say that we'll be together**

**Come on, come on**

Silently, I urged him to say the words that I so desperately wanted to hear. When he didn't say them, I decided to go first. That's probably what he was waiting for.

"I love you," I told him. And I meant it. I knew now that it was absolutely true. I didn't just like him. I loved him.

"I love you," he answered. He turned my face upward and slowly started moving his face towards my own. He hesitated more than necessary, probably still thinking it might all be a joke. I got impatient and pulled him the rest of the way down, planting his lips on mine.

**Little taste of heaven**

And I got my little taste of heaven.

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Please, please, please comment.

**If you want, you can only put a smilie face as a comment like this  
:)**

**That's usually all I put as comments.**

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**By the way, just thought I'd mention, I just read The Reckoning while listening to my music and on the closing scene this song started playing. Coincidence? I think not.**

**:D**


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